Does Being An Introvert Make You A Bad Christian?

As Christians, we are taught to love one another. There is an old song that says, “They will know we are Christians by our love.” This means that love is the mark of a true Christian.

Most people associate love with friendliness, kindness, and a welcoming spirit. If this is the case, then a true Christian is supposed to greet everyone at church. They should be eager to welcome people into their homes. They should befriend everyone at school or work and treat them like family.

When I picture the ideal loving Christian, I picture a kind grandma who always has a warm smile and baked goodies ready for all the neighborhood children. Or I picture a perky cheerleader who is always bright and bubbly and ready to help anyone in need. Surely, this is love.

The problem is, neither of those images describes me. I am not a warm grandmother or a perky cheerleader. In fact, I could be described as a cranky curmudgeon. I love my alone time. I rarely invite people into my home. Instead of befriending everyone I meet, I tend to repel them with awkward silence and succinct answers to their questions.

It’s not that I don’t like people or care about them. I do. It’s just that I’m really bad at socializing and I have a hard time making small talk with strangers. Plus, I can only take most people in small doses. With most people, I can only socialize for so long before I hit a wall and need to get away to recharge.

Does this make me a bad Christian? Not necessarily. I used to be afraid that I was turning people away from Christianity with my quiet and reserved personality. I thought I had to be more outgoing in order to be the perfect Christian. But, I’ve learned that there are many different ways to show love. You don’t have to be an extrovert to show that you care. Here are some ways to show the love of Jesus with an introverted flair:

1. Volunteer at church. Watching other people’s children in the nursery so that they can spend some childfree time together listening to the sermon is a way to show love to your congregation. If you’re not good with children, you could volunteer to make food for the fellowship meal. Feeding the church is also a form of love. You could also show love by washing dishes in the kitchen after coffee hour. Any act of service is an act of love.
2. Volunteer outside of church. As introverts, we can be very observant. Look around for people who need help. Do you know someone who is moving? Offer to help them pack or carry boxes. You don’t need to be eloquent to carry a lamp up three flights of stairs. Do you know a couple with young children who could use a break? Offer to babysit for free. Are you great with computers, and you know someone who needs help starting a website? Offer to help them get started. Keep your eyes open for ways to show love by volunteering your services.
3. Donate items to those in need. Does your church or town have a food pantry? Giving food to those in need is a quiet way to show your love. Giving clothes, shoes, books, and other material items to your church or to your local Salvation Army is also loving. Donating money to organizations like The Voice of The Martyrs to support Christians around the world who are being persecuted and imprisoned is a way to show love.
4. Write notes of encouragement. Do you have an easier time getting your ideas across when you write them down? Get some blank cards and write little notes of appreciation and encouragement to your coworkers, church members, and friends. You’d be surprised how much this can brighten up someone’s day and make them feel loved and cared for.
5. Just listen. Sometimes, people are lonely or troubled and just want someone to talk to. While introverts might not be too fond of speaking, we are great at listening, empathizing, and being a shoulder for someone to cry on. Sometimes, just sitting and listening to a frustrated coworker or a lonely elderly man at church can be the best way to show that you care.
6. Pray. Everyone needs prayer. The most loving thing you can do is pray for them. Pray for your pastor. Pray for your coworkers. Pray for your neighbors. Keep a prayer journal and pray for the people in your life every morning. Pray that God blesses their day and their lives. Pray that they grow in their faith. Pray that their physical needs will be met. Pray that God will give them wisdom. They might never know that you prayed for them, but God will know. Your prayers will make a difference in their lives. What better way to show your love for others than to lift them up before God in prayer?

Sometimes, even these suggestions can be intimidating for an introvert. I’ll admit that I still feel anxious about reaching out to people and volunteering my time. But, the more I put myself out there, the easier it becomes. I have to remind myself that even if it’s uncomfortable, showing love to others is what God wants me to do. So I pray, trust God, and reach out in love.

While you might not be the most bubbly or outspoken member of your church, you can still show that you are a Christian by your love. Your quiet spirit and thoughtful acts of service are just as important and as loving as the gregarious forms of loves that extroverts show. God gave you your introverted personality. Embrace it, and show love in your own unique way.