Reaching Your People Limit

Do you ever feel as if you’ve reached your people limit? Like you’ve had all the social interaction you can handle, and if you’re forced to converse with one more person today, it won’t be pretty? I do.

I start off the day with the best of intentions. Maybe my husband has planned an outing for us and his friends. Maybe I’m spending the day with the in-laws. Or maybe I’ve planned a fun-filled day for the family.

I tell myself that the day will be great. I’m going to be fun and bubbly. I’m going to be kind and nice. I’m going to keep all the snarky comments that come to mind in check. It’s going to be a good day.

And then I hit a wall. I have spent too much time smiling. Too much time listening to people go on and on and on with their stories that don’t seem to have a point or an ending. Too much time trying to think of the right thing to say while repressing my natural sarcastic (and sometimes abrasive) tendencies. I have reached my limit for polite social interaction. I feel mentally and emotionally drained, and my patience is GONE. I know that if I don’t make a graceful exit soon, I’m going to become snippy.

The truth is, while I like most people and want to spend time with them, actually being around people is draining. In fact, sometimes just thinking of upcoming social engagements can be draining. But I know, that socializing and “quality time” is the primary love language for many of the people I care about.

So, how do I strike a balance? How do I make sure I spend time with people without reaching my people limit? Well, I’ve been trying to schedule my time so that any major outings are followed by a “me day” where I just stay home and do my own thing. For example, last week, I went to my niece’s birthday party for hours of social interaction. But I intentionally left the next day free and knew that I would be able to use that time to recalibrate and be my usual introspective self. Knowing that the next day would be free, helped me to not feel too overwhelmed at the party.

I also set time limits for myself. It might be rude, but I always have an exit strategy and a timeline for every social engagement. I knew that I wouldn’t spend more than 3 hours at the party. I also knew that I would use the long drive home and the weather forecast of potential rainstorms as my exit ticket. Knowing that I wouldn’t be trapped at the party and that there was a set time frame helped me to enjoy it more.

While I still reach my people limit far more often than I’d like, I’ve found that these strategies help me to leave social engagements feeling only slightly frazzled instead of completely drained.

Do you ever hit your people limit? How do you deal with this? What strategies have you found to be helpful?