The Problem With Playdates

As a parent, it is my job to make sure my child develops the social skills she will need to successfully navigate her way through life. This can be a daunting task for someone who is uncomfortable in most social situations. But, because I love my child, I try to rise to the occasion.

When my child was in daycare, providing her with social interaction was easy. She got to play with other children all day long at daycare. On the weekends, I could take her to the park where she would run off and make new friends quickly with other children. All I had to do was keep an eye on her and be ready to kiss her boo boo if she ever fell down. Those were the good old days.

All too soon, she moved on to elementary school, and that’s when things got tricky. When I was a child, if I wanted to spend time with my friends, I would simply go outside and we would spend all day at the park or in the library. We didn’t need adult supervision. We knew not to talk to strangers and to be back home before dark. My parents must have been in heaven.

Nowadays, life doesn’t work like that. When children want to spend time with their friends from school, they ask their parents to set up playdates. Playdates are when the adults schedule a time for their child’s friends to come over and play under their intense supervision. As a parent, this means that you either have other children and their families invading your home, or you have to spend your time off at someone else’s home making small talk while watching the children play.

As luck would have it, I was blessed with an extroverted child. She asks me for a playdate at least once a week. I’ll be looking forward to a relaxing weekend in the seclusion of my own home, only to have that dream shattered by texts from parents wanting to know if my daughter is free to play on Saturday. On the one hand, I’m grateful that my daughter has so many friends. And I certainly don’t want to run the risk of isolating her from her friend group because of my own anti-social tendencies. But on the other hand, I find these playdates extremely draining.

I’m still trying to find a good balance. Right now, I allow my daughter to have two playdates each month. I also try to host at least one of those playdates in our home. This gives me a chance to really get to know who my child is hanging out with, and it gives me an extra incentive to deep clean my home every month. Once my child has had her two monthly playdates, I don’t feel any guilt about turning down other playdate offers that may pop up.

Of course, you could embrace the playdate experience and see it as an opportunity to meet other parents in the community. You might find that you click with the parents of your child’s friends and want to spend time with them. This could be a chance to spread your wings and get involved in your child’s school! But if you are like me, two playdates a month will be plenty.

Have you evperienced playdate overload? How have you dealt with the dreaded playdate?